Itachi vs Byakuya: Anime Older Brothers
by Miss Erika Rose
Summary: I compare Itachi and Byakuya. One-shots. CRACK, lots of crack
1. Chapter 1

**I have no idea why I wrote this, or what the heck it even is. I know it doesn't make any sence, but I had a lot of suger and I noticed Naruto and Bleach have a lot in common, Itachi and Byakuya especially. It's also really short so I can't waste too much of your life. and I'm not positive what 'crack' means, but I'm sure this qualifies.**

**Disclaimer: I own a bottle of bleach, but I don't own Bleach. I also don't own Naruto**

* * *

"My anime has a pinkette with monster strength." Itachi said pouring his sake

"My anime has a pinkette that is very powerful and likes to give people stupid nick-names and break into my house." Byakuya replied as he took a cup from Itachi

**Itachi : 0 Byakuya : 1**

"My favorite relative hates me because she thought I hated her." Byakuya said sipping his sake

"My favorite relative hates me because he thought I hated him and killed the rest of our family." Itachi responded

**Itachi : 1 Byakuya : 1**

"I really loved my sister in the end" Byakuya said calming putting his cup down

"I really loved my brother in the end, and my lies sent him over the edge" Itachi said as he refilled his own cup

**Itachi : 1 Byakuya : 2**

"My sword turns in flowers" Byakuya said calmly looking at Itachi

"My sword bursts into flames." Itachi responded returning the stare

**Itachi : 2 Byakuya : 2**

"My family is one of the oldest clans in the Soul Society." Byakuya said pouring a bit of sake

"My family helped found Konoha, and they were planing a coup d'etat" Itachi replied a bit shamfully **(A/N I don't know if I spelled that right)**

**Itachi : 2 Byakuya : 3**

"I wear a black robe with a white over coat" Byakuya said

"I wear a black trech coat with red clouds" Itachi said

**Itachi : 3 Byakuya : 3**

"I'm totally powerful, cool, and have a lot of fan-girls" Itachi and Byakuya both said at the same time

**Itachi : 2 Byakuya : 2**

"The scores went down." Itachi said looking at the score board

"We both have fan-girls, hardly something to brag about." Byakuya replied

"I just have one question." Itachi said still looking at the score board

"I have one too." Byakuya added

"Erika, what kind of contest is this anyway?" Itachi asked

**Um... not really sure.**

"Also I want to know how are you scoring this?" Byakuya added

**Um... I'm giving each of you a point everytime you say something.**

"Itachi, I believe it's time for me to go." Byakuya said getting up

"Yeah, I should be going too." Itachi said leaving also

**Hey, no wait! You guys still have to finish the game!**

They didn't even look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm baaccckkk!**

"Fabulous..." Itachi said sarcastically

"Why are _we _back?" Byakuya asked regretting the answer

**Because I've thought of more similarities! So start with the competing!**

"and if I say no?" Itachi asked annoyed

**I unleash the Fan-Girls on you guys, and I will not help.**

"Fine, where shall we start?" Byakuya said annoyed

**With the disclaimer.**

"She owns nothing." Itachi said

"Expect the huge obsession with us." Byakuya said

**Oi! It's **_**not **_**an obsession, I just think you guys totally rock!**

"I have a guy with dumb caterpillar eye brows." Itachi said knowing the only way to shut me up was to obey.

"Have you seen Renji? My lieutenant has eye brows on his chest." Byakuya pointed out

**Itachi : 0 Byakuya : 1**

"I have a creepy gay pedophile scientist." Itachi said

"I have two freaky scientist, one who experiments himself and daughter and the other eats his experiments." Byakuya said trying not to retch but still keeping his blank expression

**Itachi : 0 Byakuya : 2**

"My anime has at least three types of super-speed techniques." Byakuya pointed out

"My anime has one that belongs to someone Erika thinks is totally epic." Itachi said smirking

**Itachi : 1 Byakuya : 2 ... I'm beginning to think you guys know how I score...**

"We do. I have Toshiro Hitsugaya as an ice user, whom Erika think is cool." Byakuya said

"Haku is my ice user, and Erika still cries about everything he dies." Itachi said

**Itachi : 2 Byakuya : 2**

"Why is that?" Byakuya asked looking at the score board

**You used 'Whom' which is a word I hate, it's a way of the past which shouldn't be used today**

"You won that round because Erika detests a word?" Byakuya said

"I guess... I've given up trying to understand her thinking" Itachi said shaking his head

"I have a butterfly guy... _who_ Erika... detests with all her heart." Byakuya said realizing he picked a bad choice

"Erika always refers to my butterfly guy as 'The Most Epic Butterfly Ever!' and will hit you if you call him fat." Itachi said knowing he won that round

**Do you guys have to tell everyone these things?**

"Just show the scores." Itachi said

**Weasel**** : 3 Whitey : 2**

"Name calling... why don't you just let us go?" Byakuya asked

**Because you guys are awesome! and I'm not letting you go yet you have to finish first.**

"Fine, I have a healer woman who everyone thinks is scary." Itachi said

"Everyone is afraid of my healer woman even though she seem very nice." Byakuya replied

"That's the best you can think of." Itachi asked, Byakuya just pointed to the score board

**Itachi : 3 Byakuya : 3 ... she **_**is**_** kinda scary sometimes.**

"I have a snake freak who wants immorality." Itachi said

"Me too! what am I doing here?" Harry Potter asked coming out of nowhere

**Itachi : 3 Byakuya : 3 Harry : 1**

"Erika! Why is he here?" Itachi asked

**I don't know, I just thought about how similar they were... and I'm a big fan of his series too.**

"Why did you bring Itachi and I here, and then Harry? Itachi and I aren't the main characters in our stories, and Harry isn't an _Anime Old Brother_ in anyway." Byakuya

**Because the **_**older brother**_** in his world is Bill and Charlie and... and... um... I should've brought _them_ here.**

"No we're leaving. I'd suggest you do too." Itachi said to Harry as him and Byakuya walked away

"Wait for me! She's nuts!" Harry said as he ran after Itachi and Byakuya

**Hey! I can hear you! and I agree with you!**

**Well their gone, until I think of more things and kidnap Itachi and Byakuya again. Ciao!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello once again, I have done something different this time.**

"Yeah she kidnapped me, oh wait she did that last time too." Itachi grumbled

**Shut it, but while we have Itachi I... ah... **_**invited**_** a different Anime Older Brother to take Byakuya's place. Please put your hands together for One Piece's Ace!**

"Does this happen a lot?" Ace asked Itachi confused

"Just go with it, we escape in about six questions." Itachi said

**Yeah, happens everytime.**

"In the description it says it's a one shot." Ace pointed out

**First of all, I changed it, now it says 'one shot**_**s**_**' and two I still don't have a winner!**

"Why isn't Byakuya here anyway?" Itachi asked

**I don't know, I guess telling Yachiru to keep out of his house. *Shuggs* Anyway just do the disclaimer.**

"What?" Ace asked, "Is she nuts?"

"Yes, Erika owns no one she uses here except herself." Itachi said

**Good, now on with the competing!**

"Competing?" Ace asked Itachi

"Just say something about your anime, then I'll say something about mine that's on the same lines and then she picks whoever won just by her own bias." Itachi explained

"Like my anime has compulsive lier?" Ace tried

"Exactly, but Erika knows my as the God of Messing with Minds." Itachi replied

**Itachi : 1 Ace : 0 ... and you are the God of Messing with Minds Itachi.**

"Is she a fan girl or something?" Ace asked

"Sort of, she has the qualification but will hit you if you call her such." Itachi answered

"She's your fan girl, I'll never win." Ace said"If you're here it means she thinks your epic too, and so far only one person has lost and Erika decided she should've picked someone else." Itachi informed him

**Quit it! I am not a fan-girl!**

"Anyway the main character of my anime loves ramen." Itachi said

"The main character of _my_ anime loves meat." Ace said

**Itachi : 1 Ace : 1 I love pork... yumm...**

"I'm an older brother who uses fire." Ace said

"So am I." Itachi pointed out

"Well my brother didn't hate me." Ace countered

**Oooo, hitting below the belt. Anyway Itachi : 1 Ace : 2**

"My little brother's a wanted ciminal with a bounty of 400 million." Ace said

"I'd appreciate it if you stopped bringing up little brothers, and my little brother is also a wanted criminal." Itachi said getting annoyed

**Itachi : 1 Ace : 3 Please stop bringing up Sasuke, it's more fun if you think of a lot of different things.**

"My anime has a guy with weird eye brows who can cook." Ace said

"Erika already decided Byakuya won on anything eye brow related and Sakura can't cook which caused Erika to fall off her bed laughing." Itachi said

**Itachi : 2 Ace : 3 He's right, it cracked me up for some reason, and Byakuya wins anything eyebrow related because of Renji.**

"Ok then I have a guy who smokes and is a big gentleman." Ace said

"Shikamaru smoked before he got revenge for Asuma's death, and he also refuses to hit a girl." Itachi said, "and he's a genius"

**Itachi : 3 Ace : 3 What I don't get is why Shikamaru gets to be a lazy-do-nothing and still a genius and yet I do nothing and I'm **_**not**_**!**

"First of all, it takes energy to kidnap me three times, Byakuya twice, Ace once, and Harry Potter once." Itachi said

"Second of all, why do you keep writing these if you can't pick a winner?" Ace asked

**Um... it's fun? and besides kidnapping you guys is; hilarious, something to do when I'm bored, I'm a huge fan of y'all anime's, and I loved arguing with you guys**

"How long has she been country?" Ace asked

"For a while, she just usually doesn't talk like that in her writing, and more importantly now is about the time we escape." Itachi replied

"Oh good, she's kinda freaking me out." Ace said as he walked away

"Good bye Erika, please do not kidnap me for a little while." Itachi said waving as he walked away

**Later Itachi! I'll try not to kidnap you for a bit!**

**Thank you for wasting your time again reader-people. I really appreciate it. Adios, en vaya con dios! No, I don't actually speak Spanish, I just know that phase.**


End file.
